Great Joy
Saturday 14th December 2002

Carla my niece is the youngest daughter of my younger brother Stephen, I was in contact with another ex member of the of the Exclusive Brethren movement and it was a delight when this kind lady informed me that Carla had managed to get free from the constraints of the Brethren. I must say at this point, the Brethren will use any means possible to get a wayward member to return to the fold. Carla was strong and brave; she had planned her escape well over a period of two years. She had good people waiting to support and help her in her bid for freedom. It was not long before a meeting between us was arranged. That meeting was the highlight of the year for me, and I will always be grateful to Marion and Dave who organized the arrangements.

Ever since those early days of my exit from the Brethren I always hoped that someone from my family would escape and we could become friends, well it happened. In a later chapter I will try to describe the Brethren in more detail from personal memory, written accounts, and material gathered from various sources.

It was an interesting meeting and I was very excited, we both had questions to ask each other, I am sure I was the most inquisitive.

Above: Great Joy, Carla and Mick Together.

Carla related to me that she had planned to leave the Brethren and home because she had met a boyfriend outside the Brethren movement, the planning had been going on for nearly two years. I must say I admired her for her strength and tenacity in leaving family ties knowing how much persuasion and pressure her family and the Brethren would put on her, and they did.

We have since first meeting in 2002 been out together on many occasions and have become good friends; I get on well with her partner Russell who is a real nice fellow which is also pleasing. They both work so hard and it has probably been difficult at times for Carla to adjust outside the family enclosures of a cultish religious dogma.

Great Joy, Part two
Saturday 2nd sAugust 2008 Horley Surrey

We were enjoying an evening meal together at a local public house in Horley just the three of us Carla, Russell and I. Carla mentioned in a quiet way, “uncle Mick I have something to ask you, yes go ahead, we are getting married in November would you walk down the isle with me ? Yes, I would love to.” I am not usually lost for words but I was filled with joy excitement and a love that comes with emotions of great happiness.

When I returned home on the Sunday I started my planning for the big day, I would be acting in place of her Father, (my brother Stephen.) First I studied duties as father of the bride, I should say at this point one of my daughters married in the U.S.A. and the other is still single, so it was a first for me. Later I made a draft of the speech, and altered it several times, then practised it three times with a small audience.

Over the next few months we had several meetings to finalize arrangements the last one being on Saturday 27th September when I was measured up for the suite. Everything was in place and as the reception was to be at Gatwick Manor we booked rooms for two nights stay.

Friday 21st November 2008 1715

We, the wedding party met at Saint Bartholomew’s Church in Horley for a trial run of the main parts of the wedding service and everything was straightforward. It is a fine old church, and it has a fine old public house opposite named The Six Bells. After the practice we all retired to the pub for an evening meal, and it was first class.

Saturday 22nd November 2008

The big day had arrived; Josie and I were both up early I managed to clip my ear whilst shaving, what a mess, after a bit of pressure with a tissue I managed to stem the blood flow we then had a great breakfast.

I drove to Carla’s House at 12 noon, Josie was collected at 1300 by a charming girl her name was Kate and she did the bible reading in church. I was now in the company of the two lovely bridesmaids Vicky, (Russell’s sister) Zoe, (Carla’s friend) and Carla, who was having her hair attended to by Vicky and she did a first class job. Soon the bride and bridesmaids were getting their kit on and I looked after Harrison (Vicky’s son,) who was the pageboy, I managed to keep him amused by watching out of the window for the cars that were due to arrive. At 1350 everything was go and at 1356 we set off, Carla looked stunning.

We turned into Church Road Horley at 1403 and arrived at the church a few minutes later, after the arrival photographs the vicar met and escorted us around to the church entrance, in the lobby he said a short and powerful prayer and he then went into the main part of the church.

A few seconds later the church usher pressed a switch on the door, they were opened and the organ was playing The Trumpet Voluntary. With Carla on my arm we entered the main part of the church and there more weeding guests than I expected. Carla was a little nervous but very happy, I felt relaxed and happy. There seemed to be a sea of smiling faces and some cameras clicking away I felt we were moving a little too fast so carefully slowed the pace down.

We arrived in front of the altar, and at this point the minister Rev. Simon Holloway took over and started with the Pastoral Introduction, followed by “All things bright and beautiful,” I am not noted for my singing, but I did my best, it was so good to hear the guests singing so well. The Bible reading 1 Corinthians 13 was so well read by Kate Horden in a good clear voice. At about this time young Harrison the pageboy decided to explore the church but was soon retrieved by his father and taken to the play area which was set to one side of the church; it is known as the cage. The Marriage vows, the giving of rings, and the proclamation went fine and we all said the right things at the right times.
The Prayers and responses were next and finally The Lords Prayer. The Rev. Holloway had a short message and used salt and a herb to illustrate his point, he also mentioned porridge, he spoke well but it was a bit deep for me.

Soon it was time for the signing of the register, whilst this was in progress my wife Josie sang O Holy Night (Adam) I must say I have heard Josie sing over many years, and her voice is still in great shape.

Josie has sung at many weddings, but a first happened, at the end of the song all the guests broke into spontaneous applause, I felt so pleased for her and I know it gave her a real uplifting experience.
Once the Registers had been signed it was soon time for the recession and as we made our way out of the church the organist played A Midsummer Nights Dream —- Mendelssohn. The Church was warm inside, outside on a November afternoon I am inclined to describe the temperature as cool, but there was inner warmth of love kindness and goodwill from all, it was what I would accurately describe as a dream wedding. Many photographs were taken by both the official photographers and guests, some I have seen, they are very good, Josie and I both look forward to seeing more in time.

Kate Horden and her friend kindly returned us to Carla and Russell’s house in Horley where we changed cars and set off for the reception at Gatwick Manor, this was just a short drive, we had a slight delay for the remaining photographs to be taken before we sat down to a fine meal.

Now it was getting near the time when I was getting a little nervous, during my speech it had been requested I also include a little magic, I was so pleased about that and in my mind I worked out a story about a Rubik’s cube. I have to say a lot of magic depends on good timing; well I got the timing wrong! Fortunately I soon recovered and the speech seemed to go all right but my big mistake, I forgot the toast and then managed to slip it in after the second excellent speech from Stewart Hinton. Next to speak was Russell the Groom, then Carla the Bride, and finally Domonic Warner who was the best man had a few words to say. We had all eaten well and time was getting on, we were set to proceed to another building for a reception and disco.

Just a short walk and we were in the disco area, more food more guests and a chocolate fountain to keep us going. It was my intention to try to meet as many guests as possible and on occasions share a little magic with all on a close up theme. I was touched by all I spoke to; they were kind and welcoming people. One trick I often use named The Hand of Caesar, it is a rather spooky hand that moves on its own and finds a chosen card in the pack. At sometime during the evening it must have fallen out of my pocket, when I came to use it I found it was missing. This could have been a problem as it was still live, my concern was that perhaps an elderly lady may find it in a darkened room trying to climb her leg. After a ten minute search I did find the hand it was under a table just moving around on its own.

It must be stated I am not a dancer, but I did wish to dance with Carla at some time during the evening, as soon as the first dance was ending I made my move, gently asking Carla and Russell, “May I dance”? We were soon moving around, in a darkened room and a few photographs were taken. As Forrest Gump would say, well, that’s all I have to say about that”. (my dancing)

Right: With Carla in Switzerland

We decided it would be best to leave the reception a little early at around 2230, and rise early next morning. We had a super breakfast and were first down; next to arrive were Stewart and Jo Hinton. I am greatly indebted to Stewart and Jo for all the help and support given to Carla over the years. Next down was Carla and Russell, we all spoke about the wonderful day previous. Soon it was time to say farewell, not before I explained a little about the Gurr family history.

After a pit stop in Reigate we set off home via the M25 and M1. It really was a most outstanding weekend, so full of love, joy, happiness and laughter, we made new friends, and we will always have happy memories.