Whilst in the Fire Service most had other part time employments I was no exception, below were two that I was involved with.

The Lipstick Years

Jayne greeting a birthday boy in Bedford
One picture worth a thousand words.

It all started in 1983 My Daughter Ruth lived in Dunstable, she was 17 years old, I was busy in the Fire Service and Josie worked at the local school on part time employment. Previously I had a small extra income from dabbling in antiques, it lasted about 4 years and it had been worthwhile. I was at that time looking out for something that was interesting in the way of part time employment as the extra income was always useful.

Ruth phoned home and chatting away casually mentioned she was working part time in Dunstable as a Kiss a Gram girl.

I think she expected me to be angry; in fact I was quite amused. She went on to explain it was perfectly straightforward and the wages were good, she was employed by a firm in Dunstable who also ran a fancy dress outlet in the town.

I did not waste time, by the following week I had an advert in the local paper and was soon interviewing young ladies with my daughter Ruth. Even as the first young lady walked across the green in front of our house, we were watching from the front room, Ruth said, “this one looks very promising”, she was, we had our first lipstick girl, and her name was Jane. Several others followed during the next few days some were suitable others were not. We soon had a deal with the girls that were chosen, then I started advertising our Lipstick service and the phone started ringing.

Soon we had all sorts of requests coming in and we were kept busy, when I was not available there were quite a few fireman and friends willing to help out. Ruth also helped when we were busy and my wife Josie took the phone calls and noted the customer’s requirements. Josie also turned her hand to composing a few verses for the cards, which added a more personal touch for the person who was to receive the greeting. In time we gained a Roley Poley girl and a man to greet the ladies, this worked well for all concerned.

 

Above: Our Roly Poly Girl with a very bemused young man. 

The greetings venues took place anywhere that was required (within reason.) Pubs, clubs, house parties, a circus ring, a garage forecourt, a market stall, stately homes, chemists shop, airfield, police stations, fire stations, factories, office parties, schools, village halls, church halls, and a bank, In fact any place that people required us to attend. We soon gained a good reputation and work was often coming in by recommendation.

Our team always did everything in good taste and they always arrived suitably dressed and on time, using discretion at all times. For example in an office or bank a smart suite would be used. They all seemed to have a talent for acting, and good role play was a great help for a successful booking.
I normally picked the girls up from their home drove them to the venue and returned them home afterwards. I was also adviser and minder. I collected the monies and paid the girls at the time.

I only ever remember one small incident that was could have been embarrassing; Jane was greeting a young man in Bedford. Someone else not connected with the party decided to squeeze her bottom, Jane turned round and politely warned him, he did it again, she decked him with one punch. Jane was an instant celebrity and the man must have felt very silly.

Three of Our High Flying Girls

We were often called on to do promotional work which paid well, I also ran promotions which regularly got us into the local newspapers and always helped our business. One day we had a call from a public house in Bedford, they had arranged with a visiting circus for a Camel to come into the pub. “Could one of your girls appear with a Camel?” “We want to play an April fools joke on our customers” “Yes of course,” I replied. Sometimes I accepted an engagement and thought about how we would deal with the situation afterwards; this was one of those times. I phoned Natalie she was always game for most things. I explained what would be required, “that’s fine I can manage,” she replied. “Natalie, perhaps I had better explain a bit more, you may have to ride on the thing as well!” “I cannot be with you, then we have a job at Cranfield Aerodrome in the afternoon can you cover them both?” “That’s all right Mick, I will get my dad to drive me he will enjoy that.” I was booked on duty the next day and no one was available to help, it was one of the rare times when we were short staffed. The job at Cranfield was one of our monthly promotional flights. Once a month we had a draw and entered all our customers in for a free flight as a prize. Everything worked well; I met Natalie in the evening. She was laughing, “Yes It was fine and I enjoyed it, except the Camel stunk and had bad halitosis.”

Promotional Evening in Bedford 

Some of the best surprise kiss a gram greetings were the special requests, such as turning up as a Police Officer or Nun. They usually required a bit of extra planning but I found it was always well worth the extra effort. It was up to the person who took the initial phone call to glean as much as possible about the person who was to receive the greeting; this was usually my wife Josie who was very good. She would then compose a poem about the person and their interests.

One evening we received a booking to attend a large house situated in a village just outside Bedford, they requested a police woman to attend and arrest the birthday boy on a suspicion of a fabricated crime. I phoned the lady who made the request to get a little more information. I asked about the make of car he drove and its registration number, then I requested that his car be out of sight when we visited. I also obtained his description and a few personal details, such as who he banked with.

Good time keeping to my mind has always been most important, both being at the appointed address on time and the timing of the greeting itself. If possible it is always best to avoid other distractions such as a band playing or waitresses serving a meal. On this particular occasion everything was perfect.

Natalie looked immaculate in a Police Officers uniform; I was dressed in a suite and carried an I.D. card. It was my Fire service I.D. But it looked the part. I knocked on the door. The gentleman who was to receive our attention answered promptly. Natalie went straight into acting mode. From memory the conversation went as follows.

“Good evening sir we wish to speak with Mr. A.” “Yes what’s it about?” “We have a serious matter we wish to discuss with you, may we come in?” “Yes but I have a party in progress.” “What’s going on”? He demanded, directing his question to me. “The prosecuting officer will explain” I replied. “Do you own a Mercedes car ABC 123”? “Yes why”? “Where is it”? “Parked down the road just round the corner.” No sir, It has just been recovered from the river in Bedford, and more importantly we are interested in what was found in the boot” “What on earth do you mean”? At this time the room was filling up and guests were becoming very interested, a hush descended over the room and the poor birthday boy was visibly shocked. Natalie removed her tunic and undone the three top buttons of her blouse saying, “it is rather warm in hear” The birthday boy suddenly realized what was happening and broke into a smile. Natalie proceeded with the greeting and the poem to applause all around, the color returned to the mans face

The victim of this birthday stunt told me later it was the very best practical joke he had ever seen, and told me how worried he was at first and how very much better he felt afterwards. He was so taken by the whole event that he invited us to stay for the rest of the evening. We stayed and had a drink and a snack, and other guests congratulated Natalie on her performance. We stayed for about half an hour and then left for another engagement in the town.

The Headmaster of Bedford School also got some special treatment on the day of his retirement. We were smuggled into the great hall and the entire school was assembled. Our Lipstick girl was dressed in a St. Trinnians Schoolgirl outfit complete with racket and shuttlecock. As our famous schoolgirl entered the great hall she was thunderous applause from the boys and a few looks of utter amazement from the teaching staff. Josie and I had been taken up a back stairway so that we could oversee the proceedings. After some hilarious banter and role play with a tennis racket the school uniform started to slip off. First the straw hat, then the skirt, and her blouse. The noise was amazing as the boys started stamping on the floor and cheering. Eventually everything calmed down and our Lipstick girl delivered her greeting.

Some of our clients took everything in a calm and quiet manner, others were totally embarrassed, some were shy, and a few were very loud in their appreciation. In the incident I relate to next. It was a cold frosty morning we received a booking to attend Hitchin market to deliver a birthday greeting to a stall holder. One thing about our girls they would have a go at almost everything and delivering their message in all sorts of places and situations.

The Chief Fire Officer Reg Hailey on His Retirement
Being handcuffed by Jayne with Natalie assisting

Our Lipstick girl approached the stallholder in normal winter clothing and got into conversation with the young man who was her intended victim. She started to shed her garments; he took one look at her and ran, our girl set off in hot pursuit. Even in her high heels and dressed in skimpy underwear she caught him at the entrance to the market and managed to deliver her greetings message.
She returned to the stall with the young man, they both had a smile, but our girl was frozen.

Bedford rugby club was an interesting venue; we were called to a private party in the clubroom. It was a Friday evening in the winter. The person who ordered the greeting made a request for a naughty nurse. We also had a Doctor on hand as well just for the added entertainment. Our nurse approached the patient stating, “You sir must have a medical examination before any more sport”
I think this young man soon cottoned on to what was happening and was eager to get on with the proceedings, but the rest of the gathered friends at the party did not seem to know what was about to happen. A chair was produced and our Lipstick girl removed his shirt and produced a stethoscope, it must be noted that our girl gave a very good performance of examining his chest. As this examination of a perfectly healthy young man was taking place it seemed to dawn on the assembled party what was happening. They started to cheer at every thing she did, the patient played along with an equally good performance. That was until she produced a syringe and drew up some colored water. As best as I can remember the conversation went as follows. “Just a little prick and this will keep your stamina up.” “No, no, not that, I hate needles.” “Never mind perhaps you will enjoy this a bit better.” Suddenly her nurses outfit was on the floor and our Lipstick girl delivered her greeting.
We had a request a few weeks later from a local newspaper. “Could one of their reporters join us for an evening”? My immediate reply, “yes, we would be delighted.” I had time to plan this event and I chose an evening that would suite all concerned then phoned the reporter back to make the arrangements. We were to meet the reporter a young lady, in the car park of the Slater’s Arms, a public house just outside Kempston. It was a dark evening and I had hatched a cunning plan. The young lady arrived on time, I explained what would happen. She was very enthusiastic but a little nervous.

Our Lipstick girl would play the part of a naughty nurse; the reporter was to play the doctor. I gave her a white coat to wear and we were all set. On that evening our girl wished to be called Nancy. Nancy did her job and everything went well. It was time to put my plan into action, Steve the man in our Lipstick team was dressed as a vicar and it was his turn to spring a surprise on the reporter.
Looking back the Lipstick years were good honest fun and many of our customers really enjoyed the experience, we received letters and phone calls congratulating our professional approach. I only remember one man objecting to receiving a greeting, he had been the butt of a practical joke that went wrong. We had been paid in advance and it was Ruth delivering the message. The moment he objected I immediately called a halt to the proceedings made an apology and we left their company.
That was just one objection we received out of hundreds we preformed over a period of four years.
All good things come to an end sometimes; we eventually sold Lipstick to a local person, I understand it folded soon after. We decided to invest the money in fancy dress and hire out costumes, and then Josie brought out my share of the business and ran it by herself with occasional help from me. The Fancy dress story belongs to my wife who worked hard and did well; she ran a successful business for seven years and retired. I enclose a page of how I got involved and sometimes helped out.

Fancy Free Fancy-Dress

The Fancy dress firm was owned and run by my wife Josie, when required I would help out, I often took phone calls and sometimes received customers if required, especially at Christmas and New Year which was always busy.
In 1996 I had been retired from the Fire Service 3 years; I had no car but used an old Raleigh cycle c. 1930 to get about locally. It was ladies sit up and beg style with a 28 inch wheel. On the odd occasion I would endeavor to recover costumes that had not been returned, sometimes this task was easy, other times for various reasons they were a job to trace and recover. It was the local college giving us trouble; five and a half out of the six costumes had been returned and placed at our front door in a disgusting state. The half that had not been returned was an outsize cats head. The cats name was Sylvester, a big mean ugly cat. I made several enquires but nobody seemed to know anything, or perhaps they could not be bothered. On my final attempt, by chance, I met a friend who was a student at the college. He escorted me straight to the drama class; we had by passed the reception dragons.

I walked straight in and addressed the class directly; Sylvester was produced immediately with a few red faces. I thanked them and left immediately. Now I had a problem, I was on my cycle.

Sylvester’s head was too large to carry under my arm and it would not rest in the basket. Only one thing I could do, place it on my head and ride home. I could see quite well and I was on the cycle track. Other traffic on the roadway seemed to take an interest in a cat riding a bicycle; in fact it was quite a distraction for several motorists.

Our house has a footpath running along the rear garden, I decided to ride along the footpath and when passing the house give my wife a wave over the garden fence, it sounded a good idea at the time. As I approached the fence I looked left, Sylvester’s head turned with me, I gave a good wave, and then returned to look forward, and Sylvester’s head did not! I was riding blind; I crashed straight into the fence. I was bruised and shaken but in one piece. I had landed on grass, I could not see a thing; the head had reversed itself completely. Eventually I managed to remove Sylvester’s head and go indoors, rest, and attend a few bruises. My wife had not see me pass by, we all laughed together.